{"total":81,"result":[{"categories":["explicit"],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:18.823766","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"-9D4NaUIQOO_8b1s7sJTKA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:18.823766","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/-9D4NaUIQOO_8b1s7sJTKA","value":"If you get home from work and find Chuck Norris banging your wife, you should just go ahead and make a sandwich because Chuck Norris gets hungry after sex!"},{"categories":["food"],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:18.823766","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"MjtEesffSd6AH3Pxbw7_lg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:18.823766","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/MjtEesffSd6AH3Pxbw7_lg","value":"When Chuck Norris played Chopped from Food Network, he finished his food in 1 millisecond, and instantly wins every dish. You didn't see him play because the episode is secret."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:18.823766","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"g_QVS8WfRf-ncekOSH5RWA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:18.823766","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/g_QVS8WfRf-ncekOSH5RWA","value":"If Chuck Norris was the host of Chopped from food network, the one that's been chopped will be literally chopped. Luck is what you need. XD"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:18.823766","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"DuhjnnJCQmKAeMECnYTJuA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:18.823766","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/DuhjnnJCQmKAeMECnYTJuA","value":"Jack in the Box's do not work around Chuck Norris. They know better than to attempt to scare Chuck Norris"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:18.823766","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"atfmenvtsaatnvplw_lpla","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:18.823766","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/atfmenvtsaatnvplw_lpla","value":"For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.104863","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"yti8bxrms2ck-9stj4ghbq","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.104863","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/yti8bxrms2ck-9stj4ghbq","value":"The only sure things are Death and Taxes?and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.104863","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"nf91mo_csxefyctefgwrrw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.104863","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/nf91mo_csxefyctefgwrrw","value":"'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.104863","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"rqhxqmvpqxwqp7jpkukprw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.104863","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/rqhxqmvpqxwqp7jpkukprw","value":"Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.104863","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"dutb8-b3qeqvw2cszhmldq","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.104863","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/dutb8-b3qeqvw2cszhmldq","value":"If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.104863","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"wr247cnmthuzu-jz57lxiq","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.104863","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/wr247cnmthuzu-jz57lxiq","value":"CNN was originally created as the \"Chuck Norris Network\" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time."},{"categories":["dev"],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.324003","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"7y7l53dhrjey2iz4xwv4rw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.324003","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/7y7l53dhrjey2iz4xwv4rw","value":"\"It works on my machine\" always holds true for Chuck Norris."},{"categories":["dev"],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.324003","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"7tuczvb2rpy-xn7alkmz0w","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.324003","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/7tuczvb2rpy-xn7alkmz0w","value":"Chuck Norris's OSI network model has only one layer - Physical."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.324003","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"RDCtS4GjQpmwByA3ytBs2A","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.324003","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/RDCtS4GjQpmwByA3ytBs2A","value":"I just downloaded the new \"Roundhouse Kick\" app for my iPhone and now my screen is cracked and the phone does not work. Damn you, Chuck Norris."},{"categories":["sport"],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.576875","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"wyabe1o7symdeqcvivvola","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.576875","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/wyabe1o7symdeqcvivvola","value":"When Chuck Norris works out on the Total Gym, the Total Gym feels like it's been raped."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.897976","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"Fhq2_P7zReGrv9_pzbpzjg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.897976","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/Fhq2_P7zReGrv9_pzbpzjg","value":"Chuck Norris made a pair of toy X-Ray vision glasses really work."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.897976","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"2ySrSZr6SfmUWVJp_N4R6Q","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:19.897976","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/2ySrSZr6SfmUWVJp_N4R6Q","value":"Facebook, not only a social networking site but also the shape your face takes when roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:20.262289","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"-mTkmCJcSuGe-Eq7WzOU4g","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:20.262289","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/-mTkmCJcSuGe-Eq7WzOU4g","value":"Chuck Norris drives Optimus Prime to work."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:20.568859","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"Wk35z4oZTkekZeCTGfMsnQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:20.568859","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/Wk35z4oZTkekZeCTGfMsnQ","value":"Some people think that because the Mayan calendar ends in 2012, that means the world will end. That's not true -- the Mayan calendar ends with 2012 because they pissed off Chuck Norris. They were destroyed before they could start working on the years following."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:20.568859","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"75-FG9jkQrysfwjr2gVPog","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:20.568859","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/75-FG9jkQrysfwjr2gVPog","value":"Satan has a ultimate weapon to try to destroy Chuck Norris. But sadly, it worked. But then Chuck Norris revived himself and kicked Satan's ass."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:21.179347","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"ivGauod5RASJIT73u-2e9w","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:21.179347","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/ivGauod5RASJIT73u-2e9w","value":"Chuck Norris does not hang ductwork. Ductwork hang's itself when it encounters Chuck Norris."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:21.455187","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"60cxv77BSqWyoARor6eUuA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:21.455187","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/60cxv77BSqWyoARor6eUuA","value":"The second world war tank \"sherman\" was first named Chuck Norris, but he thought its not powerful enough for his name.Scientists are still working on a weapon that is powerful enough for his name.They are not even close."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:21.795084","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"zQDXK627Qcut5TK7E2qz4w","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:21.795084","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/zQDXK627Qcut5TK7E2qz4w","value":"Chuck Norris applied for work at Denny's just so he could give the patrons a morning SlamFest."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:22.089095","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"gRQE7hmrTOWKBOLjaMyY2A","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:22.089095","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/gRQE7hmrTOWKBOLjaMyY2A","value":"Chuck Norris was supposed to star in the TV show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:22.701402","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"_x1zyhYNRsOW9fNKSyD7FA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:22.701402","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/_x1zyhYNRsOW9fNKSyD7FA","value":"The F1 button on Chuck Norris' computer works."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:22.980058","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"HJnEggp1SXyvA6wHEv9iBw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:22.980058","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/HJnEggp1SXyvA6wHEv9iBw","value":"It goes without saying that non-smoking laws do NOT apply to Chuck Norris. Gas stations, maternity wards, fireworks factories, the White House, wherever he is, he'll strike a match off your face an blow a huge plume into it. Then roundhouse kick you."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:22.980058","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"WM_sGN6JSoKAyX-HETvSKg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:22.980058","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/WM_sGN6JSoKAyX-HETvSKg","value":"An office worker in Chuck Norris' National Fan Club headquarters was recently hospitalized shortly after she asked him to provider her with a 3 hole punch."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.240175","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"rdn6f0TBQoq6Qhs-Pvh6aQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.240175","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/rdn6f0TBQoq6Qhs-Pvh6aQ","value":"Calculator's refuse to work around Chuck Norris in fear of outsmarting him"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.240175","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"_rUTk-yuQAObPIpEyccD2w","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.240175","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/_rUTk-yuQAObPIpEyccD2w","value":"The Man works for Chuck Norris"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.484083","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"eFDrEXsBSi-h8w0zdH5MHQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.484083","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/eFDrEXsBSi-h8w0zdH5MHQ","value":"Chuck Norris can turn even the safest firework into an instrument of mass destruction."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.484083","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"eOcHK252SCmv6T5MsJiexA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.484083","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/eOcHK252SCmv6T5MsJiexA","value":"Why did Chuck Norris hasn't appeared on any mortal kombat games. Simple, the name says it all. \"mortal\". Also there won't be any fatality tha will work on him, he will just roundhouse kick anyone either he wins or loose."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.880601","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"8S0wgyRyRmuFG5qiMUW0ww","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.880601","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/8S0wgyRyRmuFG5qiMUW0ww","value":"As a kid, Chuck Norris's dog didn't eat his homework, his homework ate his dog"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.142371","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"z4gAnDQyRdO7KfrZzDfLVA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.142371","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/z4gAnDQyRdO7KfrZzDfLVA","value":"Chuck Norris once got a 500 game in bowling. Without a ball. Or pins. Or oxygen. And nobody has ever worked up the courage to ask him how."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.40636","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"B9teOdrMQuGM9YMKBB5JJQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.40636","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/B9teOdrMQuGM9YMKBB5JJQ","value":"A married couple went to Chuck Norris for their relationship problems. The husband said, \"Oh great and powerful Chuck Norris, my wife has lost the ability to feel pleasure in bed! What can I do to fix this?\" Chuck Norris then proceeded to make love to the guy's wife right on the floor next to him. After about three and a half hours of her moaning in ecstasy and epic music, Chuck Norris got up and said, \"She seems to be working alright for me!\" He then roundhouse kicked them both into space, thus ending the couples relationship problems forever!"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.099703","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"MLJ35jF7TYGyGq_ETI5BBw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.099703","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/MLJ35jF7TYGyGq_ETI5BBw","value":"One factory in Texas decided to motivate their employees by hanging posters of Chuck Norris with the message \"Don't Piss Off Chuck -- Do Your Work.\" Production increased by 500% within 6 months."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.099703","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"3YiGVQKWSMiOrPTKx3QTCg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.099703","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/3YiGVQKWSMiOrPTKx3QTCg","value":"Chuck Norris once heard Vin Diesel was tougher than he was. Enraged Chuck began a cross country jog from Texas to California and confronted Vin. It is not known exactly what happened but Immeidately following the confrontation Vin appeared in the movie the \"Pacifier\", working for free. Vin has not appeared in any movies since but is scheduled to be a guest on the critically acclaimed sitcom \"Days of our Lives\"."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.099703","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"d8TkC6N1QIqD5TyWU42oTw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.099703","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/d8TkC6N1QIqD5TyWU42oTw","value":"Chuck Norris catches up on his paperwork while skydiving."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.628594","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"85n7kxCWQlmL3MC6sSOGcg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.628594","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/85n7kxCWQlmL3MC6sSOGcg","value":"Chuck Norris doesn't clip his nails with nail clippers, he clips his nails with scissors, and they work perfectly."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.628594","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"BOqrft1UTXuARuRQaBAjyw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.628594","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/BOqrft1UTXuARuRQaBAjyw","value":"The mayor of San Antonio, TX has hired Chuck Norris to lite his farts for the evening 4th of July fireworks program."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.905626","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"2bHq32mOS9m5IHGEZChzSQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.905626","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/2bHq32mOS9m5IHGEZChzSQ","value":"Chuck Norris will personally roundhouse kick you if you don't get off this website and get back to work!"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.194739","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"bcoIW0i2SGeftIdx6iYzNA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.194739","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/bcoIW0i2SGeftIdx6iYzNA","value":"The Chuck Norris commandments: Six days thou shalt work out on your Total Gym, but the seventh day thou shalt rest and watch a Chuck Norris movie (Chuck 1:4)"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.194739","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"-XRNV51HQ-OrbAxN_u1mkw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.194739","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/-XRNV51HQ-OrbAxN_u1mkw","value":"Chuck Norris's Piss can be used as a preworkout!"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.194739","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"p20FWreLQ1Gc4Hv3YtZfMA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.194739","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/p20FWreLQ1Gc4Hv3YtZfMA","value":"Chuck Norris owns the world's only working proton pack. He has used it once, to kill some noisy neighbours, then catch their souls."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.194739","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"_BKtsX19TUK2nZeqb8AW2g","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.194739","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/_BKtsX19TUK2nZeqb8AW2g","value":"Last year, Chuck Norris was voted \"The Most Valuable Employee\" at 27 businesses that he has never worked for."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.447675","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"jWaZl5XBSG-YCKe8KRcB5g","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.447675","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/jWaZl5XBSG-YCKe8KRcB5g","value":"Chuck Norris often works out in public. He was spotted last week on Hwy 66 roundhouse kicking tornados as a warm up."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.447675","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"OUWK6JsrSfa21luvJbR4Kg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.447675","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/OUWK6JsrSfa21luvJbR4Kg","value":"Chuck (engineering), a clamp that is part of a machine tool (e.g., lathe) or power tool (e.g., drill) and securely holds a removable part, either a workpiece or a tool (e.g., drill bit). Chuck Norris (asskicker), a superhuman roundhouse-kick machine that is primarily nocturnal, feeds upon beer and raw meat, and has a year-round mating season."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.447675","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"coRZ9vZcT_--Z6fHJPXWjQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.447675","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/coRZ9vZcT_--Z6fHJPXWjQ","value":"Chuck Norris once received an 'employee of the month' award for a company he didn't even work for."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.447675","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"tSQGoycySTyXR8VyjqzvWg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.447675","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/tSQGoycySTyXR8VyjqzvWg","value":"If you go to howstuffworks.com and type 'Chuck Norris', when you press enter you will be immediately electrocuted."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.766831","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"S7pnE9abRMuJ_pBn3cLOrw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.766831","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/S7pnE9abRMuJ_pBn3cLOrw","value":"Super Mario was based on Chuck Norris, in that as a young man, Norris briefly worked as a plumber. And he loves to take mushrooms and stomp defenseless turtles to death"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.991637","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"qU47e6VyTI6Z0vrI72sPxQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.991637","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/qU47e6VyTI6Z0vrI72sPxQ","value":"Whoever said \"Close enough only works for horseshoes and hand grenades\" obviously never witnessed what happens to people within a mile of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.991637","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"rSsqiRIkRrqgfcDMhcm-eA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.991637","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/rSsqiRIkRrqgfcDMhcm-eA","value":"Chuck Norris doesn't need a Total Gym to work out the Total Gym needs Chuck Norris to work out."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.991637","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"OCD51PFURCu4oxvueu6WAA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.991637","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/OCD51PFURCu4oxvueu6WAA","value":"Chuck Norris doesn't get ready for work in the morning. Work gets ready for Chuck Norris."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.991637","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"9flIiuxdRtae2EZ-RZtOAg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.991637","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/9flIiuxdRtae2EZ-RZtOAg","value":"Chuck Norris once completed 40 hours of work in 4 hours, including 15 minutes for a coffee break."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:27.496799","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"Lan5Xr99SEKTvHkVA63JTg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:27.496799","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/Lan5Xr99SEKTvHkVA63JTg","value":"The Gracie Family taught Chuck Norris the Brazilian Jiu-Jitse style of fighting. Chuck Norris also likes to work out the the Machado Brother who are related to the Gracie by marriage. Now the Brazilian style of Jiu-Jitsu is part of Chuck Nooris Chun Kuk Do fighting style."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:27.496799","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"RlbX5-BjQ5GOGwRRvmEB-A","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:27.496799","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/RlbX5-BjQ5GOGwRRvmEB-A","value":"A movie about Chuck Norris' early years is in the works, although its production has been delayed -- presumably because they're still trying to find an actor who can read the script without being immediately hospitalized by a serious case of spontaneous ball-shrivelling."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:27.496799","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"CYhazRwnS2mrQTOb7-czrg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:27.496799","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/CYhazRwnS2mrQTOb7-czrg","value":"Chuck Norris' beard also works part-time as his pubes."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.143137","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"sZJT_-ERTSejyBA8WiBf1Q","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.143137","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/sZJT_-ERTSejyBA8WiBf1Q","value":"'The Hurt Locker' is also the name of where Chuck Norris used to keep his homework, gym shorts, and assorted students and teachers he didn't like."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.143137","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"9WR3xwYDTRaLmfXCViZY2A","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.143137","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/9WR3xwYDTRaLmfXCViZY2A","value":"Chuck Norris is the only co-star he can work with."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.420821","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"kfboA0GCTyGGoBC5RBcYmQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.420821","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/kfboA0GCTyGGoBC5RBcYmQ","value":"Chuck Norris has way better fireworks than you"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.420821","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"JgpvMK5PQAieAOlLJAZfCg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.420821","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/JgpvMK5PQAieAOlLJAZfCg","value":"Chuck Norris' beard has a Twitter account, a Myspace page, and a bestselling biography by Mick Wall. A HBO miniseries is currently in the works."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.664997","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"m7GCLt-ERfCqePwXTGWZ6g","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.664997","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/m7GCLt-ERfCqePwXTGWZ6g","value":"Chuck Norris once appeared on Cartoon Network. CN is now known as Chuck Norris."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.984661","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"P-tx2WHeTrm2ccB9Hwu9GA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.984661","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/P-tx2WHeTrm2ccB9Hwu9GA","value":"Chuck Norris made Ferris work on his day off."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.984661","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"bHeYZi2CTRi8M7iwd86dBA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.984661","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/bHeYZi2CTRi8M7iwd86dBA","value":"Bad news - Chuck Norris got sick last week and died. Good news - He's feeling much better now and went back to work yesterday."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.984661","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"YyJgQxHkTXi24GTuo1alIw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.984661","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/YyJgQxHkTXi24GTuo1alIw","value":"Chuck Norris is a supporter of gender equality in the workplace. That's why he makes his female employees work longer hours so they can earn the same as the men."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.296379","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"9cxTIo20TdOiGlxit3Nxrw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.296379","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/9cxTIo20TdOiGlxit3Nxrw","value":"When Chuck Norris was once working at Freddy's Fazbear's Pizza, he punched the manager and roundhouse kicked Freddy Fazbear in the face."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.296379","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"sKjXPWkjRByRY9UlQDd99A","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.296379","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/sKjXPWkjRByRY9UlQDd99A","value":"Chuck Norris doesn't play music - he works it like a slave owner."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.296379","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"Y8Y-CPXyS1O5dCYSrtYLEQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.296379","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/Y8Y-CPXyS1O5dCYSrtYLEQ","value":"Chuck Norris created Hugh Jackman Jokes so he would stop getting fan mail. Needless to say, it didn't work."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.296379","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"iLZfXjAVQCWcldPchDKZUw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.296379","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/iLZfXjAVQCWcldPchDKZUw","value":"If Chuck Norris EVER wants to see you talk, he will ram his arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.569033","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"gEpdKu8DTx2K9IRo-BcoMQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.569033","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/gEpdKu8DTx2K9IRo-BcoMQ","value":"Women that work in an office with Chuck Norris, soon learn not ask him for his 3 hole punch."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.569033","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"Mph3x5FbTAWDWG_LOQAvNA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.569033","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/Mph3x5FbTAWDWG_LOQAvNA","value":"Chuck Norris can complete a 40-hour workweek by 5 p.m. on Monday."},{"categories":["explicit"],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.855523","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"gIEsdgZATxWvOuVkN-5R_g","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.855523","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/gIEsdgZATxWvOuVkN-5R_g","value":"Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from \"Walker: Texas Ranger\" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife."},{"categories":["explicit"],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.855523","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"gppveJwXSbWxKmGRgklnzw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.855523","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/gppveJwXSbWxKmGRgklnzw","value":"Chuck Norris always has to have sex with large groups of women, to distribute the 'workload' - if he ever fucks a single woman, the intensity of the orgasm will induce spontaneous combustion."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"r5MQa1NGTLG2vIgyENy1ZA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/r5MQa1NGTLG2vIgyENy1ZA","value":"my computer was running slow and wasn't working right. and ever since i changed the screen saver to a picture of Chuck Norris, its speed has increased and runs better than before. coincidence? I think not!"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"8plI-Z3IQoCmEcRV1vSYvw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/8plI-Z3IQoCmEcRV1vSYvw","value":"when you play COD with Chuck Norris the escape button doesn't work! No one can escape from Chuck Norris."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"ARW2DrDtQh6TSFhqzHjmCQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/ARW2DrDtQh6TSFhqzHjmCQ","value":"its not global warming,its Chuck Norris working out"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"9AFI6v6EQzyTbmmaSHgZsg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/9AFI6v6EQzyTbmmaSHgZsg","value":"as a kid, Chuck Norris's dog didnt eat his homework, his homework ate his dog"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"8sCdjwMuTmWQeYO5qFegYw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/8sCdjwMuTmWQeYO5qFegYw","value":"All of Chuck Norris' chinese ex-girlfriends say \"chuck can fuck\" but it didnt work out because \"chuck ig-nore-us\""},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"qzxS6LHMRxOeePXyN60tug","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/qzxS6LHMRxOeePXyN60tug","value":"Chuck Norris once fought the toughest man in the world, promptly after the match the man enrolled in clown school and ended up working for a fast food chain."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"iNIEl6YOSWSekWMJSv1BMQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/iNIEl6YOSWSekWMJSv1BMQ","value":"god created jesus toencourage peace when that didnt work he created Chuck Norris to enforce it"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.480041","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"NydSjIS5SqSJHvQtuGFNlA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.480041","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/NydSjIS5SqSJHvQtuGFNlA","value":"Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, death just hasn't worked up the courage to tell him that."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.480041","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"DZ3PBbjwTFayft0zIRurUQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.480041","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/DZ3PBbjwTFayft0zIRurUQ","value":"The first terminator was sent back to kill Chuck Norris. Obviously that didn't work out."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.730109","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"bqr2pWsHQoCyRgR3pVj1Ig","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.730109","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/bqr2pWsHQoCyRgR3pVj1Ig","value":"Actresses such as Jennifer Love Hewitt, Eva Longoria and Jessica Alba have never gone nude on film. They would go nude if they worked with Chuck Norris."}]}