{"total":74,"result":[{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:18.823766","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"6t7nphc6qjczd0q94tutwa","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:18.823766","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/6t7nphc6qjczd0q94tutwa","value":"The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'."},{"categories":["religion"],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:18.823766","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"tnr_ylf0tciqndymlnmw5g","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:18.823766","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/tnr_ylf0tciqndymlnmw5g","value":"In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. 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And you will know I am the Lord, Chuck Norris, when I lay my vengeance upon you.\""},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:22.701402","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"KfxxTNVZSieT3MQ6deLNsw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:22.701402","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/KfxxTNVZSieT3MQ6deLNsw","value":"On NFL Sundays, Chuck Norris has his beer & chicken tailgate parties catered by Hobby Lobby and Chick-fil-A."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:22.980058","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"YoO_lXyFR7er7XBzHDD6cA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:22.980058","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/YoO_lXyFR7er7XBzHDD6cA","value":"The world record for eating hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes is 59. 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But he prefers to spend his cash on beer and ammunition."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.484083","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"7WrCV8j-TquYdQYlXShUIA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.484083","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/7WrCV8j-TquYdQYlXShUIA","value":"Chuck Norris' beerhat is a viking helmet with two kegs."},{"categories":["explicit"],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.880601","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"LDlO5x0-Rbq28xj9KfMuLQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.880601","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/LDlO5x0-Rbq28xj9KfMuLQ","value":"Chuck Norris recently appeared in a special episode of \"Behind The Beard\" to talk about his life, acting career, his epic sexual virility, his boots, beer, his current kill count (rounded down to the nearest thousand), martial arts, death, whiskey and his penis."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.880601","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"KbE6YXouSR6C9isJ1sJwHw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.880601","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/KbE6YXouSR6C9isJ1sJwHw","value":"Chuck Norris invented beer & pizza. He also invented the wheel but it doesn't taste as good at a Superbowl parties."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.880601","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"xSth8pO4QUKDk_cvrnQMFw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.880601","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/xSth8pO4QUKDk_cvrnQMFw","value":"When \"The Situation\" looks at Chuck Norris, \"The Situation\" turns into a beer-bellied redneck dumb-minded farmer in Colarado."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.880601","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"0fQjaqTNSam-E1snlh6HXA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:23.880601","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/0fQjaqTNSam-E1snlh6HXA","value":"Chuck Norris opens beer bottles with the nearest person's anus."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.142371","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"LkCUKcLDTFaMWGEf1tg0zg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.142371","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/LkCUKcLDTFaMWGEf1tg0zg","value":"On June 7th 1994, Chuck Norris entered the same restaurant supermodel Cindy Crawford was eating at. Instinctively, Cindy swept everything off the table, threw herself on it in a fit of lust, and begged Chuck to ravish her. After Chuck finished his beer, he obliged her. When Chuck's magnificent lead sperm cannoned into Cindy's womb it went straight to one of her ovaries and roared, \"Which one of you servile wenches thinks you can handle getting split open by the Chuck!?\" All of the eggs cowered in the corner. The same thing happened at the other ovary. \"I didn't fucking think so!\" shouted the lead sperm which then lead the rest of the troops back into Chuck's balls. Chuck pulled out; roundhouse kicked Cindy in the face and told her, \"Don't ever waste my time again.\""},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.142371","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"hG20vpRXQ_WAQtOOdXqUNQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.142371","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/hG20vpRXQ_WAQtOOdXqUNQ","value":"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind was beer. Chuck Norris invented beer. Granted, the wheel was also a fine invention but you can't serve a wheel with pizza which was also invented by Chuck Norris."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.142371","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"wsbN3wZJTyKWkuwWsHDr4g","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.142371","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/wsbN3wZJTyKWkuwWsHDr4g","value":"The average human tongue has over 2,000 taste buds. Chuck Norris' tongue only needs four: to taste beer, meat, cigars and tang."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.142371","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"M_CYPl4jRteLScSmNx3BlQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.142371","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/M_CYPl4jRteLScSmNx3BlQ","value":"Chuck Norris opens his Dos Equis beer bottles with The Most Interesting Man in the World's asshole."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.40636","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"M-MqXne6QU-66G_yjNI-wQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.40636","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/M-MqXne6QU-66G_yjNI-wQ","value":"Ken Grossman, owner of Sierra Nevada Brewery, drinks Chuck Norris Beer."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.696555","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"5FzyZmp1RHu7nFZ68RyTkA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.696555","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/5FzyZmp1RHu7nFZ68RyTkA","value":"Chuck Norris invented the word \"kill\" as well as other words like \"die\", \"beer\" and \"cunnilingus\"."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.696555","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"7w5sd_KSTgGwsVCQc3U8KA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:24.696555","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/7w5sd_KSTgGwsVCQc3U8KA","value":"Chuck Norris was origionally to be cast as Neo in The Matrix, but when they told him about the powers he would recieve, he laughed and said im Chuck Norris! He then proceeded to roundhouse kick the Warner Brother representatives and flying off to drink some beer and kick some random person's ass"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.099703","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"FsPabIKKRRKluFmQT-RpXQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.099703","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/FsPabIKKRRKluFmQT-RpXQ","value":"Budwieser claims to be King of Beers only because Chuck Norris lets them claim his piss."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.905626","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"PVUMfdBeQb-bNHiNjDVAKg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.905626","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/PVUMfdBeQb-bNHiNjDVAKg","value":"A Texas Hwy Patrol officer followed Chuck Norris for 95 miles, observed him throw out 27 beer cans then pulled him over and gave him a written warning for littering."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.905626","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"ZD_N1lL2S8aZYmZFjwJpng","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:25.905626","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/ZD_N1lL2S8aZYmZFjwJpng","value":"Chuck Norris doesn't 'open' bottles of beer. He simply bites the top off and chugs it."},{"categories":["food"],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.194739","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"d1EEOBrpQYGX9Ixj1f8kog","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.194739","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/d1EEOBrpQYGX9Ixj1f8kog","value":"For Chuck Norris, there are only two food groups. Steak and beer."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.447675","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"OUWK6JsrSfa21luvJbR4Kg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.447675","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/OUWK6JsrSfa21luvJbR4Kg","value":"Chuck (engineering), a clamp that is part of a machine tool (e.g., lathe) or power tool (e.g., drill) and securely holds a removable part, either a workpiece or a tool (e.g., drill bit). Chuck Norris (asskicker), a superhuman roundhouse-kick machine that is primarily nocturnal, feeds upon beer and raw meat, and has a year-round mating season."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.447675","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"HsrXXjOOTnuIs5XAGyIAyA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.447675","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/HsrXXjOOTnuIs5XAGyIAyA","value":"Chuck Norris knows the differance between a cow's tail and a beer tap handle."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.991637","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"IP6C9Iq4SDSR5rSTYUPr5A","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:26.991637","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/IP6C9Iq4SDSR5rSTYUPr5A","value":"Chuck Norris doen't always drink beer. But when he does, he prefers to roundhouse kick \"The Most Interesting Man in the World\" in the face and take his Dos Equis. \"Stay thirsty my friends\"."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:27.496799","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"pehSP1FzSuu-8dJjFea93Q","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:27.496799","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/pehSP1FzSuu-8dJjFea93Q","value":"The Holy Grail has not been recovered yet because nobody is dumb enough to try to take away Chuck Norris' favorite beer stein."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:27.496799","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"2958lD2rQ8KY6gBTFLbphQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:27.496799","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/2958lD2rQ8KY6gBTFLbphQ","value":"Chuck Norris beer-bongs tequila."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.143137","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"3W7K91elRR2qZv8Vy8lKkw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.143137","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/3W7K91elRR2qZv8Vy8lKkw","value":"Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive reentry without a spacesuit. On July 19, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris reentered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3,000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.143137","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"fX5GnZ1fQ1ypJUvsWzFV3Q","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.143137","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/fX5GnZ1fQ1ypJUvsWzFV3Q","value":"Chuck Norris' tongue is actually an atypical proboscis which he has adapted to absorb the last few drops of liquid & foam from the bottom of his beer cans."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.143137","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"ZBTqHgYkQIGrU8fxSBEYfw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.143137","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/ZBTqHgYkQIGrU8fxSBEYfw","value":"Chuck Norris melted Mt Kilauea with a 6 pack of ice cold beer."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.420821","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"STQKqvcKQWq1KABYHZhCLQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.420821","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/STQKqvcKQWq1KABYHZhCLQ","value":"Chuck Norris once stold a can of beer, pissed in it and sold it for a buck."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.420821","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"LBpfYFjlSfSfmw4cpJS6IA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.420821","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/LBpfYFjlSfSfmw4cpJS6IA","value":"Chuck Norris can play slide guitar with a beer bottle. Or, failing that, your face."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.420821","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"Y1Zd3iaZRYSaTkUNeXPTeQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.420821","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/Y1Zd3iaZRYSaTkUNeXPTeQ","value":"Chuck Norris chugs bottles of whiskey as if they were cans of light beer."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.664997","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"9JwDwTV5QDajqPnoxrlxsA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.664997","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/9JwDwTV5QDajqPnoxrlxsA","value":"Chuck Norris' unicycle is equipped with a windshield, cup holder, Bose Surround Sound Sterio System, beer cooler, flood lights, toilet, ash tray, bunk beds, 60 inch flat screen TV, winch, spare tire, wood burning fireplace and a hibachi grill. And that's just a start. More amenities are forthcoming."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.984661","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"TzPMHwZuQbW4ec4_yNi9XQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:28.984661","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/TzPMHwZuQbW4ec4_yNi9XQ","value":"Chuck Norris once scolded his wife for putting a bag of carrots in the beer crisper."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.296379","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"Q2ertIFvQl63DXo-KBdC7A","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.296379","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/Q2ertIFvQl63DXo-KBdC7A","value":"Q: Who would win in a beer dinking contest between Stone Cold Steve Austin and Chuck Norris? A:Noone because no bar can hold that much awesomness!"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.296379","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"p3GHoau2SLGTv04XhtIeeg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.296379","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/p3GHoau2SLGTv04XhtIeeg","value":"Which came first - the chicken or the egg? Chuck Norris said it was the beer which came first, the hell with these damn animals!!!"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.296379","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"ltOIqO7nS1Wj905mV2XHdw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.296379","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/ltOIqO7nS1Wj905mV2XHdw","value":"If you receive an invitation from Chuck Norris to attend a Texas Tea Party rally, it is actually his secret code for you to come over for a fun filled evening of jello shooters, beer pong & strip poker."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.569033","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"REVbqNSBRr-hy_28eMZd6g","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.569033","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/REVbqNSBRr-hy_28eMZd6g","value":"Chuck Norris keeps a stable full of miniature miniature horses in his beer cooler."},{"categories":["explicit"],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.569033","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"9r46_gefSf61ba3yCvvnOw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.569033","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/9r46_gefSf61ba3yCvvnOw","value":"Chuck Norris loves wine, women and song. Just as long as the wine is beer, the women Hustler models with lesbian tendancies and the song the Walker: Texas Ranger theme played constantly."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.569033","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"voXJbZD2RDCvKAiYxWGKHw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.569033","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/voXJbZD2RDCvKAiYxWGKHw","value":"Chuck Norris uses beer coasters as shurikens."},{"categories":["explicit"],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.855523","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"RUc4zUf4S6-5EOIVyJ2UiA","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:29.855523","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/RUc4zUf4S6-5EOIVyJ2UiA","value":"What's the differance between Chuck Norris' penis and a beer tap? Nevermind, I'll just go get my own mug of beer."},{"categories":["explicit"],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"6qZJVO95S66SlYHXLALXXg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.177068","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/6qZJVO95S66SlYHXLALXXg","value":"Chuck Norris doesn't see the glass as half-full or half-empty... he simply kills the asshole who didn't pour him a full beer."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.480041","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"gjbUOYl-QEuLsu61wy-5bQ","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.480041","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/gjbUOYl-QEuLsu61wy-5bQ","value":"Chuck Norris once drank so many beers he caused prohibition"},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.730109","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"cDZqs4EiQ42cy56QVXOVyw","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.730109","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/cDZqs4EiQ42cy56QVXOVyw","value":"when a cop pulls over Chuck Norris for drinking and driving the cop is just making shur that he doesnt spill his beer."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.730109","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"ydK-mA0eTzeplWyYdKpfQg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.730109","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/ydK-mA0eTzeplWyYdKpfQg","value":"The following is the first fact/joke on this website. Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive reentry without a spacesuit. On July 19, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris reentered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3,000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer. I know because I posted it on here."},{"categories":[],"created_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.730109","icon_url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/img/avatar/chuck-norris.png","id":"32f-BKdsTUCbbTSRLM3hIg","updated_at":"2020-01-05 13:42:30.730109","url":"https://api.chucknorris.io/jokes/32f-BKdsTUCbbTSRLM3hIg","value":"The so-called Most Interesting Man in the World prefers Dos Equis beer. The truly Most Interesting Man in the World, Chuck Norris, always drinks American beer, thank you very fucking much."}]}